Lachit Borphukan to get Bharat Ratna

Nathakibo Logiya Jega, November 24, 2011: In what has been termed by some as 'revolutionary' and by others as 'astonishing', the Central Government has announced that the latest awardee of the prestigious Bharat Ratna, the highest civilian award is Lachit Borphukan, the erstwhile commander of the Ahom forces in the 17th century. This announcement comes close in the heels of various parties and factions of the society shouting for a Bharat Ratna every now and then for someone or the other.

Reacting to this fresh breath of air by the otherwise lackluster political conglomerate Nam Nuhuwa Phukan, a 'dooooor ka ristedar' of Lachit said" I think this is one of the most landmark and trademark decision of the central government to award the Bharat Ratna to my great great great uncle. We all know that Assam is so advanced today all thanks to my uncle. If 'mamu jaan' would not have been there then I think we would have been sold to Bangladesh." When we asked whether he feels it correct to give the award to a person who has been dead for more than 300 years, he said "Arre baba, it doesn't matter, because everything is matter (pointing to the scientific term 'matter'). We should go back to the roots. I think Sukapha and Sankardeva should be given Nobel Peace Prizes too. Maybe you people should do some campaign on Facebook to get it done."

While this may be a very pleasant news for all of Assam, it seems that Anna Hazare is planning to go another fast unto death if the decision to award the Bharat Ratna to Tendulkar is not passed within a day. We are just wondering when Hazare will appear in Kellogs ads to claim his fitness secrets. But we do believe that this is just another way of the 'grand ol man' to create some more 'fundoo' news. Auto-know Bhuyan who it seems knows everything there is to know claims that he was the first person to ask for the Bharat Ratna for Lachit. He was however unavailable to comment as he was wondering why Twitter is not called "Xalika" after the Assamese name of the bird.

This news comes as a very spectacular ending (or rather another beginning) of the numerous well wishers of Assam on Facebook who claim that they are Assamese by posting variety of news snippets on their walls. We at Misakotha feel that this may be the ushering of another era of Bir Lachits who will destroy the evil on the land. After all the Hengdang has been silent since so many days. Another fan of Lachit said that he thinks its time to remove everyone wearing a 'lungi' from the land. We are not sure whether he meant the people from the far end corner of our country or anyone else. It however still remains to be seen as to how this news will transform Assamese society.

[This is our style of giving a tribute to the great son of the land. Today (24 November) is Lachit Borphukan Divas.]